Sunday, 30 December 2012

A Bright Christmas Diet of Eclectic Fun


Yay for Christmas! Christmas, Christmas, Christmas! The birth of Christ, presents, and an old man who makes Big Brother look like Jim Hacker*. Christmas!

Yeah, Christmas is kinda boring to talk about. What else is there? I was interviewed by a reporter a few days ago, and that’s interesting (at least to me). But I would like to talk about something a bit lighter, since it’s Christmas, and since I suspect that my last post may have been a little hard to get through… I was going to sacrifice ‘light’ to have an argument on gun control, but on consideration, no. Not only am I not going to, I’m not even explaining why I’m not going to.

So, what else is going on? Fiscal cliff? My prediction has been ‘they’ll make a deal some time just after the absolute last moment, but before too much damage is done’ for several months. I currently see no reason to change that prediction. Seriously, people complain about the Eurozone, but…

Gay marriage? That’s a top issue in the UK at the moment. Except that I tried having one of the dialogues between the two philosophers I have locked in my basement about it, and ended up with this:

Ben James: I’m in favour of gay marriage.
Finn Carter: Yup. Me too.

Unfortunately, that one’s a little short. I wish there were some actual arguments against the bloody idea.

Well, I’m getting through topics fast. What’s next?

Oh yes, one of my favourite ones – absolutely idiotic things that come out of coherent logical ethical systems. People being happy is great, yeah? And a hundred happy people must be better than just one, yes? Which means that there must be a theoretical number of less happy people who are just as good as one happier person. And so, if you can increase the population enough, it doesn’t matter that the lives of the entire population are unending slogs of misery and despair, as long their lives are better than death, as long as it wouldn’t have been better for them if they’d never been born, this population is better than what we have. So what does this mean? Well… Rape! Rape is bad – I’m not going to try and justify that statement. If you disagree... Just… just go with it for the moment, OK? The question is, is rape really a fate worse than death. I have it as something of a base assumption that it isn’t. The justice system agrees with me, and… well, with a knife to their throat, everything I know about suggests that most people won’t choose the knife. OK, I now feel somewhat dirty, so onto the point – if we accept that rape is better than death, we have a situation where consent is irrelevant. Seriously. The increase in population will, if mankind survives long enough, cancel out the massive drop in quality of life. Which reminds me that we really need to have camera on every street corner – or we would, if letting people out wasn’t far too dangerous. The capitalist system is rubbish, since some people have more than what they need, which is sub-optimal, so have anything necessary to survive distributed by quota for maximum efficiency. Non-essential luxury goods can be used for incentivising, and unhealthy goods banned. It sounds like I’m describing dystopia, but it’s a far better society than we have now. The main issue is keeping the human population as high as possible for as long as possible, and the higher the population now, the more breeding population we have to increase the population for later. Eventually, everything will be better. Also, contraception is morally wrong.

So how can we avoid this? We could deny that rape was better than death, but that only deals with one problem. There are still a lot of unpleasant things we can do to make sure that there are as many people around as possible. So what if we say that some things are wrong regardless of the end result, so we can’t do all those horrible things, even that would be better. But lying is wrong. And so so is lying to the nice man with the six foot steel axe and a particular hatred for that guy who told you to ‘hide him’ not five minutes ago, and who is currently in the house behind you.

What about saying that it’s not better to have more happier people – what’s good is average happiness. So killing off half the population for the benefit of the other half? Great! Gladiatorial combat for all! Slavery’s a pretty sweet idea, too. Yeah, sure, a few people suffer unimaginable horror, but on average everyone’s better off! Yay! And if all that fails, there’s always involuntary euthanasia for the least well off members of society.

Actually, you don’t even need the crowd. Two people torturing a random person to death is a good thing, as long as they enjoy it enough to cancel out their victim’s suffering.

Now I feel dirty again. The point isn’t ‘this form of ethics is bad’. And yeah, all these problems I’ve mentioned have solutions. And the solutions all create problems of their own! In ethics, you’re limited to either stubbornly defending ideas that may or may not constitute grounds for getting locked up, or limiting yourself to things which are pretty much redundant (‘don’t stab people for no reason). Put simply, there’s a reason so many philosophers re in favour of free speech. It works the other way around, too – a lot of things which are perfectly sensible (and which it would be utterly stupid to reject) turn out to be seriously logically flawed. Not just in ethics, either. Try looking up Curry’s paradox, which I am incapable of explaining coherently, but which twists traditional logic into a pleasing pretzel shape. Hell, even ‘this statement is a lie’ is impossible to resolve without abandoning the kind of basic logic most people use every day.

Looking at why logic is usually completely at odds with all that is good and sensible in the world is fun! Yay for Christmas!

*No, not going with the paedophile joke. Far too unorigrinal. And I made it earlier on Facebook.**
**It just occurred to me that the batman myth seems to have a particular political bent – not only is there the obvious ‘handouts’ angle, but there’s also the idea that invasion of privacy and constant surveillance are acceptable if this power is given to a good person, and the idea that an educated ‘elite’ individual is in the best position to judge. So, welfare state, CCTV and an end to trial by jury. The guy even wears red***.
***Yes, for anyone who’s not sure, I’m joking.

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